whatever’s on my mind

Been awhile since i went on here. I don’t know what to think anymore about certain things. I do know that I have to better myself and grow up, it’s taken me too long to do i admit. I guess that’s my flaw or fault or whatever you want to call it. All that time in school just burnt me out. Getting those good grades ever since the beginning of junior high took a lot out of my social life. While it was a sacrifice, i do wish i had more time to be with friends back then. I think now, and see that i only have a few “close” friends around my age. But what can you do, life can throw curve balls at you.

This summer was weird to say the least. I noticed a few people starting to distance themselves, which is fine. People gotta do what they gotta do. I’ve started to pick up this attitude now where things are whatever. If a certain situation comes up, I just say “oh well”. I’ve tried to stay away from drama. I remember the last time i had drama not relating to my ex was when i was still at southwestern. The drama back then, and whatever drama happened recently was just senseless i think. Back in the day, i  said things that I  regretted. So it’s good that I tried to not make that same mistake this time. I said what little I needed to say, didn’t want tensions to rise even more and in that, I’m proud of myself.

When people criticize you, it feels like they’re pointing out something wrong with you. Of course, there’s always something that people think you can do better or you can fix about yourself. But, there’s no need to do it and try to escalate things at the same time. Why make a situation that was already bad even worse? I don’t know if I could have said anything else different or say anything more to better the situation but what’s done is done. Hopefully, things can get better now, that feelings have boiled over, there’s no ill will with whoever, but you never know. Some people can just really hate who you are and not forget the bad things about you or the bad things that you’ve done. 

I wonder if there’s anything i can do now or in the future that can change people’s perception of me. I didn’t think people had a problem with me before. Is it too late for things to be the way they were before? Or is all that over? I honestly don’t know. Sometimes there’s no communication or little at all between people that may have issues with each other. I would think all the time we’ve known each other, that we both can pick up the phone and just talk it out. I prefer for us to talk about things in person rather than say things on the internet where people that don’t need to be involved can stay that way. 

Every situation is a learning experience. I don’t feel like I can be more open to a lot of people now. I feel like I should be more careful what I say to certain people or just not say anything at all, period. Just done with drama. I hear people talk about other people in a negative way, and I try to not believe what they say. There’s two sides to every story and we won’t truly understand another person unless we were actually in their shoes. A lot of people can judge other people based on what friends say about them or what their opinions are about them, and because they are their friends, or closer to them, people listening will of course side with their closer friends. While I have been guilty of that before, where I sided with people because they were the people I talked to more or hung out with more, now I’m trying to just say, “that’s your opinion. I’m not going to make judgement until I actually talk to the other person.” Easier said than done.

Honestly, that’s how things can build up between a group of people. I don’t like to see my group of friends being divided because of what others may say and of course I don’t like it when my friends are starting to shy away from me for whatever reason they have. I don’t know, just random thoughts in my head right now. But bottom line so far, I just want this drama to be over with and have things the way they were before. Whoever I talked about on here, it’s just me reflecting on the situation and not saying anything malicious towards you. 

Everyone has stress in their everyday lives and we don’t need to add on senselessly to it. 

Share +

The Next One

Whoever it may be, just understand that I will put in the time and the effort

Treat you like my queen because I would think that it would be worth it

To see you smile from whatever  I do or from whatever I say

And being the first person you talk to when you need to vent your problems away

Don’t try to look for my faults, but rather, look for the good in me

In my eyes you will be perfect, even though that’s something I know I will never be

But at least I will never neglect you or take you for granted

Not enough time in the day, but time with you I can find a way to manage

To tell you that you are beautiful and that you are always on my mind

Please believe the sincerity behind my words and know it won’t diminish over time

Share +

Lupe Fiasco - I Don’t Wanna Care Right Now (SDSU greenfest 2011)

More vids on youtube (user: 23greyes)

Share +

Lupe Fiasco - Daydreamin’ (SDSU greenfest 2011)

Share +

Lupe Fiasco - Words I Never Said (SDSU greenfest 2011); Lupe up close in 2nd verse

Share +

Lupe Fiasco - The Show Goes On (SDSU greenfest 2011)

Share +

poem for you

You’re beautiful, not only with your appearance

Personality and intelligence too, your beauty is limitless

From the makeup on your eyes to the dimples when you smile

To the laugh that I love to hear, makes all my efforts worthwhile

Miss iced green tea latte, Miss almond milk tea,

Miss “funny looking,” I first knew you as topnotch…baby

One of the very few people that can instantly brighten up my day

Days would have stayed gray if I hadn’t met you through sway

Eventually started talking and every answer to my question ended with a “yuup”

Didn’t matter how long we talked, even 2 minutes would have been enough

To make me forget about whatever problems that I may have had

One of the reasons why I’m always there for you whenever you feel sad

 

I still remember you asking me what exactly I liked about you

To list them now would take awhile, but I’ll try to say a few

I like how you already know what I’m going to say before I even say it

How you know if there’s something wrong with me, which is highly appreciated

You’re honest, caring, but at the same time modest

So comfortable to talk to, and how we are able to bring each other solace

I like how you like to get things done “niao“, whenever you need to do “shamshing”

How you react by saying wow, and start little arguments from nothing

Which I know isn’t a big deal because you would be just kidding

Or how you get upset in words with friends when I’d be winning

I like how you say your nickname for me, or the times when you say “I’m scared”

How you imitate dub step or make me walk you to class when I’m not really there

 

See, these things I can recall so easily because noticing things about you comes naturally

I know you too well already and that’s something you can’t disagree

So when I say you are beautiful, believe I’m saying more than that

It’s everything about you, don’t fall apart easily when it’s harder to stand strong and keep yourself intact

I know I can’t give you all of me, I’ll take whatever I can get from you

My friends say I’m crazy with every little thing I do, but

At this present moment, if it’s only tonight

Let my words comfort you if that’s all that I can currently provide

Just know that I can be the shoulder that you can always lean on

Every problem comes with a solution, I’ll always try and help you solve them

And I hope you don’t mind that I took the time to think this out loud

Now look at the last 6 letters on the left to figure out who this poem was about

 

Hope this cheers you up!

Share +

chiddy bang - dream chasin’

song is stuck in my head

Share +

Random Facts I

I’m doing this to pass time. As of right now, just waiting until OKC plays later tonight. If people really wanna know some random things about me, then go ahead and read. It’s whatever. Also, i don’t have a set number of facts that i’ll put in each of these, i’ll just stop whenever i can’t think of anything else. 

1)  I play Call of Duty A LOT! My perfect party of 6 (including myself) of people I’d wanna play with would be (in order): Aljean Camilo (don’t matter if we win or not, just fun to play with), Alexis Sun (comedy), Eduardo Del Pilar Jr. (beasty and cool to talk to), Brandon Lucas (understands what i’ve been going through as of late), and Kevin Southammavong (made me the player i am today). 

2) I know way too many songs from boy bands. I was in a phase where all i listened to were slow jams. I even know of some that people never heard of like 5ive, C-Note, No Authority, Boy Zone, etc. My all time favorite boy band song though is “Every Little Thing I Do” by Soul For Real. I never skip that song when it plays on my zune.

3) I’ve always hated the Lakers and Kobe Bryant.

4) You can describe me as a hopeless romantic. What does that mean? I’m an idealist, i’m sentimental, loving someone but wanting to be loved back, puts effort into doing all the romantic and thoughtful things someone can do for that special person.

5) Things that i look for in a girl are honesty, sincerity and open to talk about whatever. If a girl is snobby and conceited, i don’t even want to talk to the bitch. Guys always say they want a girl that’s hot with the perfect body, and while that may be cool and all, eventually you gotta talk to the girl too right?

6) I can honestly say that there are 2 people that i have never lied to: Malori Giron and Aljean Camilo. If you had class with me, sometimes i’ve said something to get out of studying, if you’ve known for me awhile, i may have said something to not hurt your feelings or get out of hanging out w/ people that you know that i may not like as much, or i was just too afraid to be up front to you about something. 

7) Everyone has fears, mine are failure and heights.

8) My dream job would to be a music producer. I’ve always been intrigued about making beats and feeling that bass rumble through your body.

9) My longest relationship lasted from June 23, 2002 - August 31, 2008. Tells you a little more about me huh, when i remember those exact dates. Weird thing is, i found out later on that she was officially seeing someone else as early as March of that same year.

10) If you’ve noticed that I look out of it or lost sometimes, I’m like that because I’m doing one of 3 things: thinking about what could be or could have been with certain people, i’m freestyling in my head or thinking about what i’m going to do/eat later.

11) Embarrassingly, I’ve watched a lot of porn in my life, so much that you would probably be shocked. But my favorite porn star right now is Abella Anderson, all time favorite is Tia Tanaka, favorite kind of porn is first time amateurs.

12) Songs i have on repeat right now are “Let Loose” and “Nobody’s Perfect” by Pac Div, as well as “Out Little World” by The Black Sunn.

13) I share accounts with my brother on PSN, hence the name yoshi_fiasco. Louie’s favorite brawl character was yoshi and my favorite rapper is lupe fiasco, so we just combined the two.

14) I think people love me the way they do is because i’m a very good listener. You can vent to me about your problems, and unlike a lot of other guys, I do listen to your problems and give you my 2 cents about what you are going through. I won’t be fake about it and just say “uh huh” and “oh really”. I look at it like this, if i need to vent, i would hope you are really listening to what i’m saying too. People say i’m sweet too but i really don’t know why you say that about me. Someone care to explain that part? 

15) I put my friends first a lot of the time. If I see that my friends are happy, better chance I’ll be happy too. 

16) One thing I hate about myself is that I can be too nice to people at times.

17) I’m currently an insomniac. I can get by with just 2-3 hours of sleep and I would be fine. However, I’ve been told that conversations with me after I’ve gotten 2-3 hours of sleep can be pretty funny and interesting. Go figure…

18) One of my all time favorite quotes is, “If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn’t follow. I’d be at the bottom to catch them when they fall.”

19) Ever since junior high school, I’ve wrote poems about random stuff, some were good, a lot were bad, i now wish i wrote down some of the stuff i’ve wanted to say recently. 

20) I am very good with directions. This is because when i was out with parents, and i was stuck in the car while they were getting food, my only fun was to look at maps they had in the car and see how i could get home from where i was. I don’t try to remember landmarks, I try to remember street names.

21) There are times where i can go through 2 whole days and only eating one meal in that time span. Sometimes, i don’t feel hungry, and there were a few times i forced myself to eat even though i wasn’t even close to being hungry. I know, healthy right?!

22) I try to never listen to the radio, 95% of the songs are garbage.

23) I love weekdays way more than the weekend. More things to watch on tv, people are easier to talk to on the weekdays and just feel more productive on weekdays. 

24) I hate the “friend zone”. Always find my way to get in there when i didn’t even mean to. 

25) I have this indention on my forehead whenever i raise my eyebrows. Apparently, I got this because my mom dropped me on my head when i was younger.

26) I have a very good nose. If you put anything fragrant on you, believe me, I can smell it from a few feet away. I like to play this game where I guess what the scent is. Weird huh?

27) If I like you, or like being with you, I can pick up things about you very quick. What you like to say, what things can make you laugh, i remember everything we talk about from past conversations, etc. I’m very observant like that. 

28) Every person is a different kind of drunk when they get fucked up, apparently, i’m one of those drunks that would try and talk to your mom.  True story…

29) Since junior high school, i had a bad habit of biting my nails. I managed to stop this bad habit after i started community college.

30) My biggest gaming accomplishment in my eyes was beating Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty on extreme and game over if caught. I like the stealthiness in games like those.

31) Top 5 hip hop artists right now in order: Lupe Fiasco > Royce Da 5’9 > XV > Big Sean > Chamillionaire.

32) I always loved math (until 2nd semester of calculus), always hated english. period!

33) While I love roller coasters, I get motion sickness very fast so I can’t ride every roller coaster I would like to.

34) Favorite people from grind time: Dumbfoundead, Passwurdz, Hollow Da Don, Rone, and Tiger Ty.

35) One time while i was at UCSD, i spent the whole night studying for a biochem midterm. I took the test, did ok, went to one of the computer labs, sat down and put my head down and knocked out for an hour or two. i woke up and proceeded to walk to my car and was being followed by someone who needed a parking spot. Before i know it, i forgot where i parked, only to realize that my car was in the next row. I thought it was funny.

36) My favorite color is baby blue.

37) Movies i can watch over and over again: Friday, Next Friday, Baseketball, The Negotiator, Rush Hour, and Starship Troopers.

38) When i go to Lollicup, I only really get one of three things: white chocolate cappuccino slush, honeydew banana slush or watermelon slush.

39) When i’m having a bad day, hanging out w/ friends can always cheer me up. No question.

40) I can fall asleep in the weirdest positions. When i was still in college and i was studying, I would usually study sitting cross legged, but at times i took a break and slumped over all the way to the ground. Yeah i fell asleep like that.

41) Lately, I’ve become accustomed to people calling me GLENNY, but only one person can really say it perfect ;) can you guess who? 

42) As of February, i was around 130 lbs. Recently, so many things have been going on in my head, and as a result, my weight has dipped to 118 lbs as of today.

43) If you have seen me drive my car, you probably noticed a long scratch along the left side of my car. This came from the the brother of the guy my ex cheated on me with because one day, i surprised her by visiting her at her school and we got into a very heated argument because she was hanging out with a guy that i suspected she was seeing for awhile (which was true). Dude didn’t like how i made her cry and decided to take matters into his own hands.

44) Speaking of my car, I named my car Emily because that’s the name of my brother’s best friend who I feel can tolerate my pervertedness. 

45) I am subscribed to over 150 people on youtube, most of which…play Call of Duty. 

46) I can watch Roy Jones Jr. fights over and over again on youtube.

47) I’ve always wanted to learn how to play the guitar, piano or violin. 

48) My favorite foods are tocino or corned beef w/ onion and potatoes. 

49) I’ve gone through a lot of bs over the years, that some problems or annoyances i have, i respond with a deep breath and me telling myself, “whatever”. i try not to emotionally explode as i would have when i was younger.

50) I do not like to take pictures of myself or look at myself when i see pictures of me and my friends. I was never photogenic. I’ve taken pics of myself recently just to show friends new pics so that they can stop asking me to take new ones. 

Share +